en

Lea van Coeverden

(Source Quarterly Bulletin De Benjamin / summer issue 2018)

With 63 years she was a certified relationship broker at the cradle of Jingles, which is now Jewish-Friends. Lea looks back on the founding of Jingles and the need for a Jewish platform for Jewish friendships, dates and relationships.

Match making


When Rabbi Raph Evers asked her in 1997 if she wanted to do something for the Jewish singles, she thought that was a good idea. "Linking is a big mitzvah. I was a 'real' Jente, a graduate ... so I started Jingles, a non-profit organization in relationship mediation for Jewish singles. I placed an advertisement in the NAV and an interview followed. It was a storm. Everyone who was looking for a partner was received in the safe environment of our house for a personal intake. Internet dating did not exist at that time. The first year I received more than 200 singles. It became very busy. That's why four consultants came in, all women. Women often talk more easily with women, there is recognition. Men usually prefer to talk to a woman about this type of business. The team of consultants came together regularly to make a match for the people we had received for an intake. We received a subsidy for our publicity and work from Maror and also organized singles events. "

Diversity


"In addition to Jingles we started with Jentl for not halachic [according to orthodox Jewish rules, ed.] Jews and then Jewel for gay singles. I stopped with Jingles when I took care of my mother to relieve my father.

Recognition


Jingles was taken over by JMW in 2007. In the background I remained involved as a volunteer, even when it became an online dating service. Advising and working in the background of moderators in the background. In 2017 Jingles switched to Jewish Friends. It was difficult for me, as a professional mediator, to deal with the self-image that some people have. Almost all women felt that they looked younger than their calendar age and therefore 'wanted' a younger partner. But what does age actually mean? You are just your calendar age. Men always wanted younger women. But I always said: "You just have to have fun with each other, safety, security, comfort and pleasure, that is the building block of a good relationship." If you have a Jewish background yourself, having a Jewish partner is very important. You know each other's history, you do not have to explain much more. Within the orthodoxy, however, usually within their own circle.

Expectations


People often expect that someone else will make them happy. That is an impossible task. You do not have an equal relationship. A partner is not just there for fun things. Because life is not just fun.

Commerce


The current commercial relationship agencies earn big money from the loneliness of singles. Contracts are concluded for a year or longer and in that year many partner proposals are promised. I like that. A competent agency that works honestly will not send a row of men or women to you because it is only to make turnover. If the office is competent you succeed after one or two encounters. Otherwise you better go online yourself, much cheaper and you decide who you meet. You meet people you probably would never have met. Even if you have a nice friendship about it. Love is about and true friendship I think is worth more.

Although Lea is no longer active daily for the new Jewish-Friends, she is regularly consulted by Jewish-Friends. Knowledge that can not be lost.
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